Gophers - How do you get rid of these vile, evil monsters?

[Joe Public]

Yeah. we can do that. We don't even need a reason!

[SpeedDMN]

Now it all makes sense...

AOL Video Blog

[polonyc2]

those gophers are kinda cute...reminds me of my old hamster, his name was Fred

[Centurion]

I was thinking of one of those motion activated 100+ decibel ultrasonic horns, when I came across this:

Mole and Gopher Control

Don't know anything about it though.

[ronbo 613]

M-80s. Put a piece of wood over all the holes you can find, light off an M-80 and toss it in a hole, then throw a piece of wood over it. The concussion kills the darn gophers.
I'm not kidding. I used to have a landscaping business, the State of California Dept. of Agriculture sold M-80s and poisoned grain for gopher control. Not a big fan of poison because other animals may eat it and, well, the M-80s were more fun.

[Kage]

I thought M-80's were illegal in the US?


You could force the exhaust from one of your cars down the hole....

[SpeedDMN]

Originally Posted by Kage

I thought M-80's were illegal in the US?


You could force the exhaust from one of your cars down the hole....

They are..Big time. In some states you can still get firecrackers and they sell these fake deals that look like M-80s, (usually call them M-60s) but they are pathetic. They make a pitiful little pop and wouldn't hurt an ant. Maybe there are some ways to get them if you have a licenced business, but I doubt it in Maryland. I remember years ago someone gave me about a dozen M-80's, the real ones. I thought they were the fake M-60's so as a joke I lit one and tossed it in a friends garden near his window. BOOM! one of his plants was vaporized and I was glazing in a new window the next day. Same guy also gave me a few 1/4 sticks and one 3/8 stick. I took those out to the country. It was marvelous fun, but would not want to get caught with those. It's not an illegal fireworks charge but an explosives charge (felony) I don't know where this guy got them but they are very rare.

[k0NG0]

The car exhaust thing is pretty clever. An old V8 without any sort of exhaust filtering running for an hour or two ought to do the trick.

I also like the whole gas + light it on fire thing.

Is the tunnel system far away from the house, or close by/beneath? That would limit the use of high explosive compounds, sadly.

Perhaps a really tiny dachshund fed steroids and some sort of speed?

[Gorganzola]

Get a 20lb bottle of propane, run a house into the gopher hole. Let it drain into it for an hour or two. Get a really long stick, put a flame of some sort on the end and stick it into the hole. Then RUN!!! The M-80 will look small in comparison.

[Rickwell]

Pump 10% Naptha + 90% Oxygen in the hole.Insert realllllly longgg fuse and light.

[SpeedDMN]

You know it occures to me that pointreyes hasn't been back to this thread since yesterday. I am starting to think the gophers might have done him in. Probably used his own fatal tactics against him. Damn shame..
Gophers 1, mods 0

[Rick_EE]

Unavaliable for comment.

[pointreyes]

Good suggestions. Blowing-up the holes will not work. Afraid of blowing up the trees that The Beast is chewing away at. Traps are set for I hope is a way to rid my home of these creatures. One of the areas I gassed has not shown any activity for two days. I now have much bigger gassers that farmers use and the traps are scissor traps which the rodent will walk into and will push against one part that will scissor his mid-section.

A brother of mine that I have not seen in over 5 years is visiting me right-now which is what is keeping me busy.

[SpeedDMN]

Glad the rumors of your death were exaggerated Who would start something like that anyway? Wow so scissor traps of doom huh, like something out of Poe's The Pit and the Pendulum. How could anyone be so cruel? You should be ashamed of yourself for slaughtering the poor defenseless critters. Oh by the way, please post pics when you get one

[SpeedDMN]

I know this thread is older then Moses, but I have kinda a funny gopher story. This new girl I have been seeing has had at least one tearing up her garden and we were sitting on the back porch and there one was, nibbling away. I said something like "too bad you don't have a .22 or something" and she said "I do I'm getting it" So she hands me this rifle which is an ancient bolt action single shot Winchester and a couple .22 shorts. I pulled the bolt back, put in a shell and closed the action took aim tried to pull the trigger and nothing. I had him dead in my sites and at about 20 yards it would be hard to miss. However, me not being familiar with the gun I didn't realize you had to pull back this little knob to cock it so naturally it didn't fire. Mr. gopher knew something was up by then and wandered off out of sight. So then I go hunting the little ******* (after realizing how the damn rifle fired) and climbed up on this pile of rocks to get a focal point and perhaps another shot. Sure enough there he was or at least I could see his head sticking up. I was getting ready to cock the rifle when the rock I was standing on became unstable and down I went rifle and all. I was pretty much ok, but he escaped of course. I think gophers are just inherently lucky!