Well, dang...the cancer's back...

[ctal]

TQ -- Thanks for the good and frequent updates. We're all very much in your corner, as has been said many times.

I agree with Deerslayer, and I'm sure you fully realize this as well, that it is essential to do whatever it takes to maintain good nutrition and hydration. Hopefully that will be more readily possible now that the ulceration appears under control.

Serious medical problems, as well as the treatments themselves, will prompt seemingly weird dreams such as the one you described. It seems clear to me that the sudden eruption of molten rock symbolizes, at a sub-conscious emotional level, the recent re-appearance of the cancer. The prior low resolution view of the volcanic dust symbolizes your prior on-going uncertainties about it during the period when you had no symptoms. The remote vantage point relates to the fact that the problem is located in a place that intellect, consciousness, and sensory perceptions normally don't focus on. I have no particular knowledge of the psychology of dreams, but it seems clear to me that something along those lines would be the proper interpretation.

If you don't mind my asking, is this stomach cancer, pancreatic cancer, or something else? Knowing that could conceivably help us at some point to focus in the proper direction any suggestions we might make, or knowledge we might happen to have, or research that we might do.

Hang tough, bud, and know that we're all with you!

Best,
-- Al

[TQ]

Originally Posted by ctal

Serious medical problems, as well as the treatments themselves, will prompt seemingly weird dreams such as the one you described. It seems clear to me that the sudden eruption of molten rock symbolizes, at a sub-conscious emotional level, the recent re-appearance of the cancer. The prior low resolution view of the volcanic dust symbolizes your prior on-going uncertainties about it during the period when you had no symptoms. The remote vantage point relates to the fact that the problem is located in a place that intellect, consciousness, and sensory perceptions normally don't focus on. I have no particular knowledge of the psychology of dreams, but it seems clear to me that something along those lines would be the proper interpretation.

I was thinking about this very thing all morning. I think you hit the nail on the head with the interpretation of the sudden appearance of the molten rock dovetailing with the rather abrupt re-appearance of the cancer. All my tests over the last couple of months were negative for cancer, then, unexpectedly, it's back. It's interesting that the picture of the ulceration showed a livid, red area.
The remote vantage point is an interesting perspective I hadn't considered and I was left wondering what that could mean. I had perhaps thought it might represent an intellectual pull back to a place where I could process the news I had received.
My sudden panic for the mobile lab - which, I now recall had a kind of screen door on it - may symbolize my fear of leaving my wife and family alone.
Weird, wild stuff...

Originally Posted by ctal

If you don't mind my asking, is this stomach cancer, pancreatic cancer, or something else? Knowing that could conceivably help us at some point to focus in the proper direction any suggestions we might make, or knowledge we might happen to have, or research that we might do.

The primary tumor is located at the juncture of my esophagus and stomach. It has metastasized to local lymph nodes and my liver. During the clinical trial in 2006 we beat it to a standstill and actually forced retreat in every area.
I have confidence we will do so again. I just have to get my feet back under me.

[TQ]

A much better night last night. I went to bed around 10:30 after Mrs. TQ and I watched the two most recent episodes of Battlestar Galactica (the season finale had us literally on the edges of our seats). I slept soundly all through the night. Very nice, that.
I had a dream that I was going snow skiing with Anne Hathaway (The Devil Wears Prada, Get Smart) but that I had to chat her up at some sort of social function before she'd agree to go with me.
Can't see how that one has any sort of cancer related interpretation. About the only thing I can come up with is that I'm a dirty middle-aged man. Oh, well...Mrs. TQ still has to be pried off the HDTV whenever Matthew McConaughey is onscreen, so I'm not the only perv in the family.

I also spent all day yesterday with some sort of drink in my hand, usually ice water with fresh lime, and I'm back to normal hydration. I even ate something resembling a normal amount of food.
Still weak, though...Mrs. TQ took Halo to a snake training refresher course, so Belle and I went outside to play frisbee. Wow...nearly zero endurance. Even walking a few steps was almost more than I could handle. It was only yesterday that I realized just how weak I have become over the last few days. But, I think that's all changing now - more fluid, more food, back on my usual vitamin supplements...my strength should be coming back.
Perhaps the gym tomorrow...

[ctal]

Very glad to hear the better news, TQ. Dehydration by itself will knock anyone out very severely, and will take some number of days to recover from. But that's excellent that you are now fully hydrated, and can eat somewhat normally.

Best,

-- Al

[TQ]

I'm having some of that Jamie Lee Curtis-hawked Dannon Activia Yogurt even as I write this.
Later today I'm going to run over to Whole Foods and pick up some Brewer's Yeast and fresh fruit for smoothies.
I really am feeling much better. Halo and I were just outside playing ball. Mrs. TQ discovered the perfect dog ball yesterday from JW dog toys. It's well weighted for throwing and the squeaker appears to be very rugged. It bounces fast and unpredictably which gives our energetic youngest a great workout.
I was just happy I didn't get lightheaded like I did yesterday with Belle.

[ctal]

In the early 1990's, when Darryl Strawberrry was playing the outfield for the L. A. Dodgers, then Dodger manager Tommy Lasorda was taking questions from listeners on a sports talk radio show. A fan calling in said that he thought Strawberry was way over-rated, and was "a dog." Lasorda answered: "He's not a dog. A dog is loyal, and runs fast after balls."

-- Al

[XJ.]

Great too hear TQ!

I'm jealous though, as an adult I became allergic to dogs (after our family owned four over a 24 year period). I really miss playing Frisbee with them

Can't see how that one has any sort of cancer related interpretation. About the only thing I can come up with is that I'm a dirty middle-aged man. Oh, well...Mrs. TQ still has to be pried off the HDTV whenever Matthew McConaughey is onscreen, so I'm not the only perv in the family.

Doesn't sound like you're a dirty middle-aged man - just a pretty normal one

[k0NG0]

Originally Posted by TQ

I'm having some of that Jamie Lee Curtis-hawked Dannon Activia Yogurt even as I write this.
Later today I'm going to run over to Whole Foods and pick up some Brewer's Yeast and fresh fruit for smoothies.
I really am feeling much better. Halo and I were just outside playing ball. Mrs. TQ discovered the perfect dog ball yesterday from JW dog toys. It's well weighted for throwing and the squeaker appears to be very rugged. It bounces fast and unpredictably which gives our energetic youngest a great workout.
I was just happy I didn't get lightheaded like I did yesterday with Belle.

On Friday I spent time with the smartest dumb dog in Sweden (a flat-coated retriever). You can throw anything to him and he enjoys it. The current favorite: a chewed up old plastic indoor broom. The handle is long gone, but apparently the bristles are lots of fun. Tie it to a rope and jerk it around, you'll have hours of fun. He also enjoyed chasing a stuffed hippo toy and, eh, leaves.

He'll eat anything except bell peppers and grapes they tell me. Spent hours just sitting by the table where the food was laid up (midsummer festivities), strategically placed just by the meatballs (a truly Swedish dog, eh?).

[TQ]

Originally Posted by ctal

Lasorda answered: "He's not a dog. A dog is loyal, and runs fast after balls."

Heh...good one.

[TQ]

Originally Posted by k0NG0

He'll eat anything except bell peppers and grapes they tell me. Spent hours just sitting by the table where the food was laid up (midsummer festivities), strategically placed just by the meatballs (a truly Swedish dog, eh?).

Actually, Swedish meatballs sounds pretty good right now.
I'm getting cravings that are bouncing all over the map. I saw a TV spot yesterday for Jose Cuervo-based margaritas and thought that sounded good.

[k0NG0]

Originally Posted by TQ

Actually, Swedish meatballs sounds pretty good right now.
I'm getting cravings that are bouncing all over the map. I saw a TV spot yesterday for Jose Cuervo-based margaritas and thought that sounded good.

You might be pregnant.

[TQ]

Nah...I haven't gone all the way through menopause, so Mrs. TQ still uses protection.

[TQ]

My strength continues to return, though I still feel the effects of those first few days. I ate quite a bit yesterday (organic beef sausage from Whole Foods!) and made a heavy fruit-based smoothie with brewer's yeast, apple juice and frozen yogurt, which had the consistency of something out of a 1950's monster movie.
I'm still experiencing a sharp pain in my side when I draw a deep breath. I think that's some leftover damage from the days I spent violently vomiting up what fluid I could. Painkillers work well on this and allow me a measure of comfort.
I'm thinking one more day of rest and refueling and I am going to see about heading back to the gym on Tuesday.

At some point I still have to deal with likely surgery on my throat to restore my voice. I should hear something back today after my ENT doc and my oncologist get together.

[TQ]

I spoke with my ENT doc and I’ve agreed to proceed with the surgery to restore my paralyzed vocal chord. He really impressed me with his combination of easy personality and solid experience. I liked him.

I won’t know exactly when we will schedule it (his nurse is out of town ‘till Wednesday), but if I were to bet I’d wager on Thursday. My goal is to get it done before my next round of chemo.

After the procedure I will be out of commission as far as VO work for ten days, but I have my VO buds Cody Nichols of Reveal Studios and "Supafly" Jose Brown from my days as Creative Services Director/Clear Channel Austin ready to step in to cover me on that.

I’m looking forward to being able to talk and work again.

[ctal]

Best of luck with it, TQ. A projected ten day recovery until you can do vo work suggests that it is not too big a deal, unless of course you mean Seagram's .

I wonder why that problem showed up at about the same time as the other symptoms. From what I've read the cause of vocal cord paralysis (which is not uncommon) is sometimes unknown. Perhaps the dehydration made you susceptible to it?

Best,
-- Al